The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
