his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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