Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
