did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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