true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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