The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
