Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
