Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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