I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
