Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
