Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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