Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
