can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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