that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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