yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
