clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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