like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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