No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
All I want is dick and wine.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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