Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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