Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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