She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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