Fuck appropriateness.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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