Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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