i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
