sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
