I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
