thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize