Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Drunk is not a location!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
