You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
