JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
