i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
