Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
