I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
