its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
