Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i was born a porn star she said
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
