Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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