I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
