i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Come see our sink grown plant.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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