it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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