I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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