if i can run in heels then i can drive
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
