Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
