Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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