Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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