This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
