Ketchup is God's man juice
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
