We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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