Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I AM VODKA MAN
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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