at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
