I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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