I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
