i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
