if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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