I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
