Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
