Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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