Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
