im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
