I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
