We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
