i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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