How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
