Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just high enough for therapy.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
